Sunday, 7 September
Good Morning
Jessicca…
Who is it
that next walks through your door to greet you?
There’s always a greeting of some sort to acknowledge the renewed
acquaintanceship. “Long time no see”
serves the purpose even though your last conversation together may have been a
mere few hours ago. It’s a ritual
introducing a new episode to your on-going relationship as friends. It also serves to quickly acclimate us with
the nature of our interaction.
A simple
“Hello” may suit the moment. It’s
concise so the nature of its meaning depends on the manner of its
delivery. A smiling exuberant “Hello!” provides
an outburst of warmth that is shorthand for saying something like, “Boy, am I
glad to see you. It has been entirely
too long since we last met.” A quiet
“Hello” accompanied by a small smile makes for a greeting reserved for someone
you’re maybe meeting for the first time.
There’s a potential for friendship here but this preface to conversation
may only be a polite gesture preceding a matter of business. You’re each putting a human face on an
interaction that is possibly as impersonal as the signing of legal documents
regarding a transaction. If the
encounter has gone smoothly you can gratefully punctuate the end of the matter
with a handshake and the comment, “It’s been a pleasure doing business with
you.” The sentiment is genuine but you
are relieved the event has concluded and you move on to other interests of your
day unconcerned that you may never see this individual ever again. A matter of necessity had brought you
together. Now that it is completed you
each wish the other well while preferring your lives to move in separate
circles.
Were you to
greet an old friend with a similarly reserved “Hello” it is likely to indicate
there is a problem between the two of you that needs to be resolved. Possibly it is nothing more than a small
misunderstanding having occurred the previous evening or maybe it was an unintended
slight due to ill temper from lack of sleep or being plagued by worry. The recipient of this unexpected cool greeting
knows something is amiss, possibly a friction in the relationship needs mending. If the friendship is strong and vital to both
then the matter can be forthrightly addressed.
What follows may include an apology, an expression of relief, some
laughter and the both of you quickly move on to happier moments. On the other hand, the problem may be but one
in a series of incidents that has brought grief between these friends. Instead of a quick resolution of the matter
there is a wary circling of the issue. In
place of owning up to one’s own complicity in the problem there is an airing of
recrimination. Antagonisms mount. A larger more substantive threat to the
friendship has been unveiled. There is
mutual shock at this revelation. What is
to be done? The encounter ends with
words of anger and alarm. The visiting
party flees the presence of the other. The
two injured friends separately search out other friendships, seeking validation. How dreadful this other person has revealed
themselves to be. Where once there was
comfort and joy now there is a cold, painful void. What once had charm is now irredeemably
wretched.
Oh, what suffering
there is that comes from bad blood. We are
daily confronted with these broken shards.
Only time can mend the hurt. What comes of the friendship is uncertain.
Possibly the two friends arrive at a more realistic appraisal of the
other as a human being and their bond is strengthened by a more accepting
appreciation of the other’s incorrigible traits. This period of absence has reinforced one’s
sense of need for the other. How foolish
and inconsequential the dispute now seems.
The words of greeting introducing this reconciliation are of small note. Most any words will do. One’s meaning and contrition is found in their
voice. Serenity is gratefully embraced,
at least for the moment.
Otherwise,
we move on. The friendship becomes a
chapter receding from view by the accumulating time, ever fading in its importance to our daily life. There are lessons to be learned about ourselves and
our dealings with others if only we care to revisit the iconic moments of this
relationship. Knowing our own failings
doesn’t mean we don’t continue to repeat them.
There are some behaviors too ingrained in our being to ever be completely
relieved. We hope to encounter others
who may well develop a taste for our own peculiar emotional vintage. Imperfections in modest amounts are the
spices that provide zest to character.
Who can love
pure goodness? It’s obnoxious. The root attraction to Jesus undoubtedly lies
in his humanity. He exhibits at various
moments fear, anger, love... most likely hate. He suffers
all the irritations and indignities of a biological existence among men and
vermin in a parched land. These are all
matters removed from the experience of the creator of the universe. Love God the Creator? Not likely.
Give me Jesus on the cross. He
understood us. He knew the attraction and comfort man found in woman. He knew the rewards
and pain of human relationships. All our
interactions contribute to a fabric loomed by humanity. It is this we can love.
Love,
Dad
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