Sunday, 6 October
 |
| I've lost a step with age |
Good Morning Justin…
When you’re young falling in love truly is as easy as
falling off a log. With experience and
age, though, romantic love may involve all the scrutiny a loan application gets
from the bank. Sex is no longer the
compelling lighthouse beacon that once drew me forward through the fog years of
my youth. I was a firefly chasing
dancing lights in the night. Too often that
magic moment under the stars was all about the rule of biology and reason be
damned. That’s not love, though, is it? No. I’m
comparing the crisp tart of an apple with the sweet juice of an orange. Let me start again.
Love could be as illusionary as standing amidst a bevy of
reflections in a room of funhouse mirrors.
What’s real? Sure, there was always
the question of whether someone really loved me. The more important question for me, though,
was whether I truly loved the one I was going through all that trouble to chase. Let’s give myself the benefit of the doubt
and believe it’s true when I say, “I love you.” Great, I’m not a jerk – yet. Now here’s where the relationship goes
dicey. I’m head over heels in love with
this wonderful woman and we’ll assume she feels the same for me. This is real heaven. I’m better than the man I ever thought I
could be. I think thoughts and have
feelings I never thought I could express.
I amaze myself at the kindness I feel and how considerate I am for the
person I love. And it’s all so
effortless. This whole marvelous
attitude even spills over to my feelings for people I don’t even know. I smile and say, “Good Morning!” to the
checkout lady even though I have been in line for twenty minutes. I’m in love and the world’s beautiful. This is all so amazing. So what’s the problem?
Romance is like a drug high.
You eventually have to come down.
It’s as certain as gravity on earth.
We wouldn’t benefit from the civilization we have if we were all
spending each and every day as though it was our honeymoon. Life returns to normal and so does the one
you love. Most people hope and expect
their most significant relationship in life is forever. But if it isn’t we endure a hard fall,
followed by a shattering break. Then we
spend the next couple of years picking up the pieces. Woe is me.
We’re talking a marathon if the whole thing works. It’s not like romance at the movies. Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl in a crescendo finish. They embrace in a swooning kiss. The End.
You come out of the movie, hand in hand with the one you love. The two of you get in the car, nudge out of
the parking space, and drive home. The
two of you buy groceries. Together you
repair the house. You pay bills as a
team and adjust the budget. You disagree
and argue from time to time. You’re
together for breakfast and dinner day after day, through all the seasons,
through all the years, and the many trials and all the tests to the
relationship from outside interests. There are surprises that are sometimes
heart-warming or are, at times, heart-rending.
It’s all in the life of a marriage or, at least, a relationship that
feels like a marriage.
I don’t know about you but I can’t sustain my best behavior
for more than a couple of hours, at most.
Give me a week and I’ll show you my best impersonation of dull and
rude. Of course, we can always hop in
bed and stir the coals when the daily grind doesn’t feel fresh and
spritely. I’ll even think to brush my
teeth first. Yeah, it’s OK. But I have to admit I ran out of fireworks
quite a while back. I’m a creature of
habit. Was it good for you? Great, now let’s turn on the TV and get out
the crackers and cheese.
Chuckles was depressed because he didn’t like the way his
ears flopped over and there was nothing he could do about it. He starred at his reflection again. He could clearly see that both ears bent near
the middle and then drooped over onto themselves. It wasn’t normal.
Why is it we have premium cable and yet there is never
anything on. Why is that, Honey? Oh, your feet are cold. Stop that!
Alright you’re going to get it.
And I mean in the worst sort of way.
By the way, how’s things with you?
Love,
Dad
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