Sunday, March 23, 2014

Good Morning Jessicca...

Letter to my Daughter
Sunday, 23 March

Calling out cranky behavior

Good Morning Jessicca…

Finally, another spring!  The dead return to the living, so to speak.  Don’t think too hard on that thought.  The sun gives us a longer, more generous shine.  The earth warms.  There are fewer shivers in me timbers on these days.  Feet no longer freeze at night.  Flowers bloom.  Bees buzz and everyone has a poetic verse come to mind.  Well put a bee in your bonnet and may the moon make you think of a big pizza pie.  Yeah, that’s amour, eh?

Let’s make a bountiful Easter hat big enough to feed a family of six.  I’m starving.  Let’s make the hat all about appetite.  How do you spell mozzarella?  Thank God for ‘spell check’.  We need plenty of gooey cheese to drip in long strands over the brim.  I’m partial to pepperoni.  It makes for a good strong color against the rich, bubbling cheese.  We definitely need plenty of pepperoni.  So much pepperoni, in fact, anyone can smell its oven roasted aroma with only the use of their eyes.  You know, I almost want Cheetos sprinkled over my hat.  No, bad idea.  Grilled onion sounds better.  My mouth waters.  Now that’s a hat too splendid to wear.  I did say the size that would serve six, right?  I think maybe six is the new two.  I really am very hungry but I will share it with you. 

Hats smelling this good are meant to be eaten.  We need to accessorize our hat with a pitcher of something frosty cold.  Let’s try it with a movie, as well.  How do you feel about watching people swept up into a world where fists smash bricks and psychic beams send cars flying through the air?  Small moments of mortal life are reserved for bathroom breaks and quick runs for more Doritos. 

We’re all caught up into our own titanic life or death struggle.  Just beyond that innocuous front door is a raging battle to hold back the forces of pure evil.  Go to the window.  Now!  See there… clouds billowing up over the horizon – it’s global, it’s melodrama, it’s black and white, just and unjust, friend versus foe.  Are you prepared?  OK, stand back.  There are others here who wish to follow us into action.  Hallelujah.  They are your brothers.  They need no introduction.

First things first:  the pizza’s gone.  I’m sorry.  I should have ordered more.  This is no time for tears, though.  Come.  We've work to do.  Follow me!

Pretend all kinds of superhero mayhem have just occurred and we've returned victorious, now, to our ultra-secret Fortress of Superheroes for lunch.  I’m famished.  Storm Woman you have the Grilled Chicken Salad with low fat Blue Cheese Dressing.  Colossal Boy has a double-decker cheeseburger, curly fries and a frosty Dew.  Metallica Mind I believe you ordered two Patty Melts with an Oreo Blizzard.  Ultimate Robot has, of course, the Greased Monkey slathered with extra Virgin Oil.  I’m having the peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toasted sour dough bread and a box of Raisonettes.  Dig in, everyone.

Where were we?  Yes, I believe we were discussing the latest diabolical plot of the evil genius – Professor Death Star.  It appears he’s developed a new ragweed allergy that renders useless any over-the-counter remedy, even maximum strength potions.  I've never suffered such miserable sinus headache and drainage.  This is only the Ides of March and the pollen season hasn't even yet begun.  I agree with Storm Woman.  This calls for an extra-large tissue dispenser on all our utility belts.  Good thinking Aurora Mom.  Be sure we all schedule a daily nap.  Combating mortal evil requires we have plenty of rest.  There’s no room for cranky behavior here.  I suggest we also send a super tweet to all our superhero followers.  In their own modest way they too can benefit from all these sensible suggestions for fighting this allergy pestilence.  Good.  It’s settled, then.  We’ll all meet by the flag pole following our naps.  Remember… capes are mandatory.


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