good morning Jessicca

letter to my daughter
sunday, 15 november



         Jessicca

joy, sex

              love, 

                        Dad

©  Tom Taylor

Good Morning Jessicca

Letter to my Daughter
Sunday, 13 July

Good Morning Jessicca…

Michelangelo Buonarroti

Why is it human males grow beards and other primates do not?  You won’t find a gorilla or orangutan having to trim its whiskers.   It’s a peculiar characteristic limited to Homo sapiens.  Similarly, you won’t find any primate other than us where the female is in need of a bra.  Human breasts often develop to a size having nothing to do with nursing.  It is an adornment provoking the male into the role of procreation. 

Sandro Botticelli

Of course, the biological truth is the male needs little provocation to become aroused.  Sex is a full-time preoccupation with him – in urgency probably just behind defending his life and eating to prevent starvation.  The female’s concern on the matter is just a bit more veiled.  Being left with the responsibility of childbirth leaves her somewhat circumspect.

Benvenuto Cellini

Natural selection’s role in determining the nature of secondary sexual characteristics is as Darwinian in cause-and-effect as the shapes of beaks on Galapagos finches.  The bird’s bill shape is determined by the feeding niche available to the animal.  A diet of hard seeds requires a stout bill.  A longer, thinner beak is necessary for a bird that finds its food in narrow passages.  The demands of the bird’s life style define its morphology. 

Willendorf Venus

What external factors determine the nature of human sexuality?  Individual survivability is not the primary role of secondary sexual characteristics.  These are mostly visual cues having to do with messages concerning reproduction in the strictest biological sense.  How successful one is at mating has much to do with one’s display – yes, like a peacock spreading its tail feathers… although humans aren’t normally so flamboyant about it.  The pea-size brain of a bird hasn’t much room for subtlety. 

Pablo Picasso

 Human sexuality is more than physical appearance but, all things being equal, visual appeal is definitely the tie-breaker.  The attraction of one sex for the other is determined by what the opposite sex finds desirable.  Sexual characteristics of males are largely determined by what females prefer in men, and vice versa.  A woman’s seductive power is determined by man’s desire.  Once again, I want to keep things in perspective.  Peacocks haven’t much variation in personality.  We do.  Humphrey Bogart got Lauren Bacall – not Cary Grant.  The woman on this month’s cover of Cosmopolitan is not necessarily a man’s fantasy. 

Peter Paul Rubens

The rules for sexual attraction are not rigid.  Just look at the human population.  It suggests we have an enormous variety in taste when it comes to finding a mate.  Of course, society has a role in the appearance of the human population.  Most civilizations at least make some effort at monogamy.  One individual may have many conquests but such relationships are not widely formalized into harems.  We promote the egalitarian view of there being someone special for everyone.  It’s healthy for everyone to be paired up.  Everyone needs to be on the dance floor, not lining the walls in sullen frustration. 

Salvador Dali

The safety found in modern society enables us to exhibit instances of exaggerated secondary sexual characteristics.  Jungle law no longer restrains the more exotic human tastes.  Dolly Parton proportions aren’t conducive to being fleet of foot.  Women of extraordinary curves and delicately boned men were probably rare among prehistoric populations.  There was a time in human history when Nature was just as unforgiving to us as with all other individuals of the animal kingdom. 

Robert Crumb

There was basically one successful morphology for dogs in the wild – no Pekinese or bulldogs or Dobermans.  People have also broken free from severe biological constraints.  We can be over seven feet tall or four foot six.  We can focus all our time on hitting a baseball better than anyone or we can spend our days identifying what’s poetic in life.

Henry Moore

We are an extravagant species.  We entertain hilarious thoughts.  If you appreciate your sexual identity then you can thank the sex opposite you.  It’s their erotic desires that largely made you who you are.  Think about it.  Even as we accomplish the extraordinary with our minds there is a part of us never far from the siren song of sexual desire.

Georgia O'Keeffe

Love,

          Dad

Good Morning Justin...

Letter to my Son
Sunday, 22 December

Gypsy serves breakfast

“Cade, you haven’t a romantic bone in your body.”

Cade paused to look up from his hash browns, bloody with catsup.

“Where’d I do you wrong, Gypsy?”

“You ain’t never’ve been close enough to do something wrong with me, cowboy.”

He smiled and shoveled in another bite.

“You think refilling my coffee might get you a bit too close?”

“That’s business.  We all have to take risks for a buck.”

“You got that right.  One buck – there’s your tip.”

“That a fact?  I’m thinking more along the lines two quarters suits you.”

“Like hell.”

“Damn straight.  You lay down a buck and you’ll get me thinking you came into money.  What happened?  Social Security give you a raise?”

“How bout that coffee, Honey?”

She grabbed up his wadded napkin and bounced it off his forehead, dropping right into the egg yolk.

“Hey!”

“Hey yourself.”

The bell jangled above the entrance.

“Gypsy, your walkway’s mighty slick outside.”

“I’ll have Cade grab a counter shaker and salt it before he leaves.”

“She’s sweet talking you, Cade.”

“Hey Bill.  Still living the dream?”

“He can’t afford it.  So Bill, ‘Senior Special’, decaf, cream, no sugar… right?”

“I come in here too often.”

“It’s the women.  Food stinks but Gypsy loves to give you suggestive looks.”

“I suggest you finish up, pay your tab and make yourself absent, Cade.”

“I can’t do that.  Bill here’s deathly afraid of being alone with you.”

“He ought to be.  I’ve a thing for a man in a toupee.”

“OK, that’s about enough.  Come over here and give this a feel.  It’s all real, Gypsy.”

“And it’s all yours, Honey.”

“Sorry, Bill.  I still think I can peak under it.”

“Make me a liar.  Come over here and put your hands through it.”

“Watch out, Gypsy.  He’s starting to stir.  You still messing with Viagra, Bill?”

“I get it by the case from Canada.  Might come in handy one day.”

“The internet’s a wonderful thing.”

“OK, Gypsy.  How would you know?”

Bill suddenly looked bewildered.  “What we talking about here, drugs or sex?”

“Why Bill, both of course.  Right, Cade?”
“You asking me?  I get my internet in the library.  Not much you can do there but pay your bills on line.”

“Says you.”  She winked.

“I hear you can look at whatever you want in a New York library.”

“That a fact?  Where’d you hear that, Bill?”

“Facebook,” Cade said.

“No, you got to have friends to be on Facebook.  Right, Bill?”

“Gypsy, I think my cakes are burning.”

“His is the short stack,” Cade smiled.

“Their pretty stacked compared to yours, Cade.”  She smiled back.

“You’d have to cook mine to know.”  Cade said.

“You’re strictly wheat toast and eggs.”  She replied.

They starred at each other.

Bill leaned away from the counter to take them both in.  
“Get a room,” he said.

Good Morning Jessicca...

Letter to My Daughter
Sunday, 13 January

American Gothic - Grant Wood

Here’s a thought before I get to Jessicca’s letter:  we don’t make love complicated.  We don’t have to.  How many books, songs and movies explore this topic?  Human love is so nuanced, surprising, joyous and absolutely terrible.  The reason we muster to solve our daily challenges is often replaced with foolishness, delusion and deceit when matters of passionate love confront us on our otherwise carefully plotted sane path.

Do I wish for a world limited to the hushed librarian tones of persuasion when resolving relational disquiet?  Hardly.  My God, there are times in a couple’s life that requires adamant passion, the vivid conviction of one’s heart.  This in no way implies violence unless we take into account the bed having been brought crashing down by the now exhausted couple somewhere near the break of dawn.  Yeah, love can be like that. 

Adam and Eve - Masolino da Panicale

Good Morning Jessicca…

We all know of evolution and how various environmental factors influence the development of biology over time.  We can follow the course of this action from the fossils we unearth.  It’s about the variability of genetics exhibited within individuals of a particular species population and which ones are more likely to reproduce, insuring their characteristics are represented in succeeding generations.  

8 1/2 - Federico Fellini

The fundamental thing about us humans is that we increasingly control our environment and we've greatly improved the likelihood of survival of nearly all individuals.  So what factors most contribute to our own genetic design?  Let me offer you the intriguing possibility that sex appeal has become a significant determinant in our own evolutionary development.  Sounds crazy, doesn't it?  I must be joking.  Think about it, though.  Many vertebrate animals mate based on the appeal of an individual of the opposite sex.  You see evidence of this in ritual mating behavior, such as the display of colors or acts of dominance.  

Henry and June - Anais Nin

People are complex.  We usually make decisions that lead to having children on factors in addition to appearance and charm.  Desire is a very strong incentive but alone it makes for only a brief encounter.  People commit to long term relationships having considered characteristics such as trust, stability, respect and earning potential.  Eye appeal leads to an introduction, conversation – a personality assessment that may continue with an extended period of  ‘getting to know’ each other.  When lightening strikes a committed relationship between the two becomes understood.  In this manner women contribute their influence to future characteristic of men and men do likewise with women.  Each sex helps determine the nature of the other.  It’s nothing new.  It’s part of the history of men and women.  But the impact of gender appeal on our genetic make up has increased as other evolutionary pressures on us diminish.  For instance, we no longer fear being fed upon by predators.  Mental shrewdness supplants brute strength as a demonstrated key to success in a technological society.  The appeal based on sexual desire may change little over time but societal considerations evolve with changing circumstance and they do have significant effect in choosing a partner to raise a family.  

End of the Affair - Graham Greene

Is this about love?  I don’t know.  It’s complicated.  There are so many aspects to love – love of family, love of children… romantic love.  They aren’t the same.  They make differing demands of us.  Romantic loves leads to love of one’s own children.  What about endurance?  Love of a child tends to last a lifetime.  Romance is often fleeting, especially with the pressures of raising a family.  

Eyes Wide Shut - Stanley Kubrick

The love between partners changes in nature.  It may remain equally intense but the excitement of desire ebbs with familiarity.  The love shared by two adults in a relationship can not be taken for granted.  It is not reliable.  You can’t leave your spouse in a pumpkin shell.  The human heart is too easily stolen.  

Scenes from a Marriage - Ingmar Bergman

Then, too, human nature doesn’t conveniently fit into societal expectations, social needs.  Human sexuality is not simple, never has been.  Society’s tolerance of an individual’s personal disposition soon leads to the discover that people diverge widely from the proscribed norm.  We’re not a population of squares and circles, after all.  Chances are there are few true squares and circles anywhere, even among those that wish it otherwise.  The genie is out of the bottle and suppressing the nature of the human heart is out of fashion.  What it all means is that new freedoms present new challenges to one’s personal happiness.  At some point we are overwhelmed by complexity.  A life of simple squares and circles may seem a blessing.  We give up something to gain something else. 

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? - Edward Albee

We are complicated, mentally and emotionally.  We just want to simply love and be loved.  You have your entire life in front of you and you undoubtedly anticipate the future with relish.  I’m dragging a heavy chain of years and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.  I see challenge.  You see opportunity.  That’s why my stay here isn't open ended.  At some point the brain fills up with experience and you just plain run out of thinking room to decide on what next to do.  

Persona - Ingmar Bergman

As long as people cherish Valentine’s Day I suppose we’re safe.

Love,

         Dad