Letter to Christa

Excavation     De Kooning - 1950

Good Morning Christa…

One of the points you make in response to Michael Graziano’s column, Are We Really Conscious? , is that personal impressions are valid.  The subjective life is real.  Consciousness exists because it is an indisputable part of our experience.  The processing of input through the use of mental models does not necessarily make conscious thought an illusion.  Our minds evaluate an apple’s color, flavor, aroma, depth and weight.  The result is that the mind identifies the object as an apple.  This information is of no practical value to our biological brains without next determining the relevance of the apple to ourselves.  We don’t determine the importance of the apple without also providing further knowledge of the self.  Are we hungry?  Is this item safe for us to eat?  Do we like apples?  Would we prefer eating something else that is available?  The process of absorbing external world information also initiates self-knowledge, self-awareness.  Deprive us of all sensory input for an extended period and we may well lose in time the nature of our own identity. 

Consciousness requires our being able to continually relate with the external world.  Thus it does derive from the processing of information.  It also makes sense for the mind to require preexisting mental models – bundles of information – if it is to be capable of any meaningful evaluation.  Let’s return to our apple.

Of what use is the apple’s color if our minds are not prepared to interpret the wavelength it reflects?  A wavelength is a physical reality of the external world.  It has many properties associated with it.  A particular wavelength captured by the mind’s eye may induce a mental construct we identify as the color red.  There would be no recognition of red without first a model to interpret that wavelength.  So it also holds true for all aspects of the external world.  It isn’t enough to provide the biological equipment for hearing if there isn’t a corresponding model in place to convert vibrations into sound.  Sound is strictly a mental phenomenon, just as is color, odor or touch.  All of these sensations have been created, modified and refined over many millions of years.  The mind needs to know only what is relevant to survival.

A model produces a rough approximation of an entity.  Graziano refers to its product as a mere caricature of the object’s true properties.  Our awareness of the color white gives us no clue that it actually contains all visible colors of the spectrum.  We have no model for this because the information has no relation to survival.  Human reason enables us to acquire information not directly processed by models.

 What if it is true that consciousness is illusion?  Are we then little more than an elaborate information processing organism?  How coldly material and mechanistic this would seem.  It hardly depicts the human spirit as we know it.  The ongoing reasoned exploration of all things physical continually changes our perception of reality.  Copernicus destroyed the notion we were the center of God’s creation.  Darwin made a pleasant fiction of the Garden of Eden.  It seems now that neurological scientists are diminishing the mystique we hold for human existence.  Are we to believe all existence boils down to simple cause-and-effect mathematical logic?

I think not.  It’s tempting for some to misinterpret the overall significance of scientific findings.  There is no shortage to the mystery of existence.  How do we explain the fact of existence at all?  There is simply no need for anything to exist.  Still we do.  What is it we know of the underlying basis of physical reality?  That question actually remains a mystery.  Our explanations of the physical world only unearth more thoroughly puzzling questions – questions that challenge the very usefulness of reason itself.  Imagine that.  The universe we know is extraordinarily complicated from beginning to end – from light years in size to infinitesimally small material elements that appear to travel through dimensions beyond our detection.  Science has reached the point of being able to scoff at the scientific validity of writings by ancient people thousands of years ago.  That’s nothing to brag about.  We actually have far bigger challenges ahead when it comes to deciphering the nature and depth of our existence.  Chances are that if we have to rely exclusively on the reasoning power of our present biological brains we will never find the ultimate answers to the how and why of our being here.  That’s reassuring to me.  I’d hate to think existence is simple enough for the human mind to thoroughly conceive.  What a sad commentary for all of creation.

Every line of pursuit we choose to take ends short of our hopes.  Big deal.  There are so many personal rewards along the way.  Let us focus on living well.  Art is a splendid topic.  It isn’t caged within the narrow framework of scientific or mathematical reason.  It is sensual.  It stretches the vistas of imagination.  It brings to harvest our many emotions.  It is, best of all, just so damned dependent on the qualities of human nature.  Amen to that.

Tom

Happy Birthday Justin!

Happy Birthday Justin!

Now you are a teenager.  The last image I have of you is of a small child with a spaghetti-stained tee-shirt, unhappy with me and unwilling to give me a hug.  Had I been you in your position I’m sure I would have felt the same.  Many of the characteristics that give you your energy and drive your passions are also found in your mother but you have behaviors peculiar to me, as well.  I found it remarkable how your manner of drawing picked up where I left off when I was your age.  You also made a curious facial squint when you became deeply absorbed in a project much as I did for many years.  Then, too, there is an irreverent, farcical humor you portray that I once recognized in myself.  All and all your mother has provided you a fair basis for the talents of a Mickey Mantle will I’ve offered you a hint of Sid Caesar.  Unfortunately you have no idea who these people are so let me just say that I suspect your friends will find your contradictions intriguing.

Of course, my characterization of you overstates the genetic contribution of your mom and myself in deciding your identity.  You’ve inherited certain genetic predispositions but where it truly counts then you remain the master of your own course.  Despite the beliefs of some modern day behaviorists I remain in the camp of romantics that presume individuals act mostly on the basis of free will.  We’d make a dull subject for literature were it otherwise.  Still, the number of facets to our complex nature could conceivably provide enough variations that give us the illusion of having made conscious choices when, in reality, events and our own personal history are the more likely determiners of our particular genetic response.  If this is true then we are no longer actors upon the stage.  We can all be more accurately described as computer avatars representing individuals caught up in an impossibly complex web of variables that determine all human existence.  If that is the case then it is theoretically possible to predict the precise nature of the cake you have for your thirteenth birthday and for all birthdays to come.  I should caution you now that designing the computer and the program needed to crunch the nearly infinite number of variables required to make such predictions would lead one to inevitable madness.

Need I remind you that any descent into madness on your part is also foreseeable based upon your genetic possibilities in combination with your personal history of reacting to events.  A future based on these formulations of human behavior will find no enlightenment in probing our human psyches using the dramatic talents of a William Shakespeare.  What amusement could we possibly find in the theater when we are so much better served by consulting computerized actuary tables listing genetic probability responses to the variations of likely events?  I know you’re thinking this doesn’t sound the least bit appealing.  Doesn’t this mean that when you fall in love you consult your actuary tables to determine the date, time and precise nature of how your relationship finally comes to an end?  Isn’t there something to be said for adding mystery to one’s life?  I suppose so if you prefer enduring the unexpected heartbreak that may occur in a life that isn’t thoroughly planned.  Had you access to computerized fortune telling then you could avoid all those passionate love affairs that wind up going nowhere.  Sure you will miss out on all the charged moments of intimacy but think of the time you save.  Life can be so much more efficient when you already know everything in advance.  What a waste it is not to wring out the greatest amount of productivity in every moment of your life.

I think we will need a new definition for leisure.  Some of us may be concerned that our emphasis on personal efficiency may adversely affect the nature of poetry.  Quite the contrary.  There will be special edition actuary tables dedicated to enhancing our artistic endeavors.  Imagine the joy you will experience no longer having to worry about pursuing a creative dead-end.  Every stroke of the brush, every conjuring of thought into a sentence can be celebrated as a personal triumph.  The Oscar goes to everyone all the time.  Now this truly is Heaven on Earth.

I’ve seen the future and already I fondly remember the days when a birthday present contained a sweater in place of the longed-for NFL autographed football.  Having consulted my actuary table in determining my life-mate I now fervently wish for her to runoff with my best friend.  Remember when life contained surprises?  Even the unpleasant ones are now cause for nostalgia.  I want you to know Justin, that as your loving Dad, I wish you all the best on your birthday and a few jarring bumps in the road, as well.

Happy Birthday Justin!

           

Good Morning Jessicca...

Letter to my Daughter

Sunday, 29 December

I was here

Good Morning Jessicca…

How do we not be young?  We stop being vigorous and optimistic.  I can’t imagine anything good about that.  At some point a person is forced to physically slow down because of age but it doesn’t mean we have to lag in spirit.  Creaking joints, though, is no reason for loss of optimism.  I think a pessimistic view of life is irrational because it ignores the big picture.  What remarkable energy there is in people.  This is obvious.  We have an absolutely unrelenting constitution for making things happen.  How could this world be in the state that it is if we were otherwise?  People of all persuasions desire to improve upon the world as they see best.  We are all in competition to produce a better system in which we can all live.  Often things don’t go our way and that’s not necessarily bad.  It requires us to rethink what it is we are trying to do and why it is others may not agree with our ideas on creating a more perfect world.  We probably don’t change our minds on goals but we do adjust and push ahead if we are to remain in the race. 

Life can get brutal but people are tough.  We don’t mind picking a fight with the big guy if we believe we are right.  It’s happened time and again.  The Americans thumbed their nose at the British when England was on top a couple of hundred years back and the Americans got away with it, thanks to some timely help from the French.  The Cubans and Vietnamese have, in turn, thumbed their nose at us, as well.  They also relied on needed support from our adversaries but it is remarkable, none the less, that these scrawny little countries should dare to cross Uncle Sam when he was positively bristling with weapons.  People will consistently put their lives on the line when they believe they are right.  This is a very courageous characteristic of humans.  It is something about human nature that deserves our respect. 

Of course, people with an opposing view don’t suddenly back down when they run across stiff resistance.  That isn’t in our nature, as you can well see.  But being the dominant force is all the more reason to consider what it is about us that makes the other side so fired up mad.  Why not pause to review our actions in an effort to be more constructive, more accommodating to other points of view?  After all, if we are the big guy in the right then wouldn’t you think time was on our side anyway?  What’s the rush to herd people to our point of view?  People with evangelical ideas on how the world should be can show impatience, bordering on deafness, when it comes to hearing out those with contrasting ideas.  The mighty often get their way in the short term but it doesn’t make for being right.  People have a habit of steadily subverting the power of the arrogant.  They’ll risk a trip to the hospital, or worse, just for the chance of kicking you in the shin.  Insult and offend enough people and you find yourself suddenly a giant among the Lilliputians - prostrate and powerless, strapped to the ground.  No one stays king of the mountain against the will of the world’s vast number of meek.

I am one among the countless billions inhabiting this planet.  We have dominion over the Earth, for better or worse.  We squabble with ourselves, and sometimes come to blows, over how we divvy up the world’s treasure.  We often don’t mind taking more than our fair share.  Why is that?  Is there something wrong with our philosophy?  Is it about socialism versus capitalism?  Could it be that nationalism makes for artificial distinctions among people?  Are we about tribes?  Are we about family?  Do we discover spiritual oneness on our daily commute?

I was talking earlier about living with vitality.  We build and plan and care about people we love and it somehow all seems to work out for us on a broad scale.  Our individual internal conflicts are not enough to divert most of us from attempting to achieve our own sense of mission accomplished.  Every human accomplishment of every description has its basis in the will to complete something, to contribute something of oneself.  Here’s my mark.  I was here.  I’ve now left my indelible scratch somewhere in the history of ‘Once upon a time’.

Love,

          Dad